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Health Articles archives
Sunday, October 01, 2006 "white with two? yeah? if i remember correctly?" "ahh, no, black with nothing.... thank you" i leaned on the kitchen bench and had no idea of where to place my hands - i folded my arms, but that just made me look too defensive and offended, which i wasn't - i played with my hair but that just made me look like an idiot - eventually i just put my hands in my pockets, resulting in me looking depressed and miserable, but what did i care? i looked up and noticed that she had rack with hooks nailed up on the wall, where she hung all her saucepans and fry pans - i never thought she would become one of those people. "new glasses?" i asked as she poured the boiling water into the mugs - i remember she once told me you shouldnt use boiling water to make coffee - i told her i didn't give a shit and opened a beer instead - but that was then. "no, i got them a while ago? do you like em?" i didn't - but i said "yeah... i dunno" she handed me the coffee and i took a short sip, as i turned my head and looked out the window behind me. it was a perfect day outside, and i wished i was a child again. i can't enjoy it anymore. "you should come around more often yaknow- it's good to see you again - shit it's been ages." this was half true. she took a seat at her kitchen table, which had a light green table cloth over it that somehow suited the clear perfect day outside. she crossed her legs and looked up at me smiling - trying to anyway. "wanna go outside?" "you don't like what i've done?" "nah, it looks real good - i dunno, i just wanna go outside. it's been a while." we walked down the street still drinking our cups of coffee - i liked that - i liked that she could still do things like that, and not give it any thought or question - it was a small and simple sign that she was still the same person i once knew - careless - i followed the powerlines with my eyes as we walked far too slowly down the street - she talked and i thought - it was a saturday afternoon and i felt like a beer - i thought of suggesting we make our way to a pub or something - and then i remembered, all of a sudden, that i never really like her that much - so she kept on talking. "so you workin much now?" jesus - i lied. "yeah, im doin some stuff... you know..... its not that interesting..." "do you remember my cousin? she still owns that place, and could probably get some work for you - shit, i bet it's been ages since you saw her too." i didn't remember her cousin, or what place she owned - so i nodded and said that it sounded good, but i was going okay - we arrived at the local football oval at the end of the street and it was completely deserted - we both stopped and leaned on the white-pole-fence that lined the boundary - i threw out and emptied the remaining coffee in my mug onto the grass infront of us - we stood there together in silence - i found it weird that the oval was completely empty and that nobody else was around, especially for a saturday afternoon - no kids around getting their pants dirty - the grass looked so soft and an unnatural shade of green - this made the sky look much bigger. so then i said "i still have the knife you know" and turned to look at her - to see what her response was going to be - i looked her in the eyes for the first time in six years - she was confused, maybe a little angry - why would i say something like that? - she squinted a little, and i smiled and turned my head back to the grass and sky. "where is it?" "in my pocket." an angry flash of movement and she threw her coffee mug hard and fast as far as she could onto the oval infront of us - the coffee sprinkled and rained down a little bit after flying in slow motion - the mug bounced and tumbled a couple of times on the soft grass - i remember thinking it was fortunate the mug didn't break or crack, creating nasty cut on the leg for the next child to play and fall there "what are you doing?" "what do you mean?" "why would you say that?" "what?" i put my hands in my pockets again - she pretended not to notice. "what are you doing?" "i dunno, i thought you might like to know." "what are you going to do with it then." "....keep it - i mean, why not?" i could feel the small knife in my pocket - warm and almost moist as my fingers i toyed with it - a black bird flew and landed on the grass near where the coffee would have sprinked down "how did you find it again?" i laughed, wondering if she was serious. "it really wasn't that hard - you know, when you think about it." "you're really sick sometimes, you know that dont you? ya sick. always have been." it was true - i never really liked her that much - not back then, and not now - i bent down and ducked under the pole-fence of the oval, and started to walk away across the grass - i still felt like that beer and the sky still looked so big - so much bigger, just like everything did when we were kids - i heard her say something to herself - but i didn't hear what it was, and i kept on walking - when i reached it, i gave the coffee-mug a hard kick with my boot - and it shattered posted by Simon Sunday, October 01, 2006 |
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